story
In 2024, I became obsessed with making a successful cast of my chest.
I believe there are three reasons why:
I wanted a project. Creating a boob cast is difficult, especially on yourself, though I felt it should be achievable. So I made numerous casts of my own boobs to varying success whilst my (male) flatmate thought I was loopy. I spent lots of money on dental alginate and then silicone after realising the alginate didnt work.
My boobs were the only part of my body that I liked (they adhered to societal norms). Yet, they are the part of my body most likely to change the most. This compounded my fear of ageing and the passing of time. Casting defies that, in a way, it lifts the body out of the flow of time. It makes this version of me permanent.
I lacked a sense of self for much of my life - I felt this big hole in my chest. It was almost as if something could fly straight through me if thrown in my direction. I found validation in making a cast; it was like saying, “Here, I exist”. I did not know it at the time, but looking back, I believe this drove my obsession.
Having created a cast, I saw the immense value and power of it. Making an artistic cast of something is to say that that thing is worth something. It was empowering. I was someone who had felt unattractive and awkward my whole life. Seeing my body separately, away from myself, allowed me to see it for what it is, rather than what it is not. I was quite literally objectifying myself, but in a nice, non sexual way.
Others asked me to make body casts for them, and I found that I could earn by doing something I enjoyed, and bringing joy to others. My favourite part of this venture is connecting with people and creating things that bring them delight.
I love the excitement when taking something out of the mould for the first time. It is a moment of delightful discovery, as is gilding. Gilding is true alchemy; it is quite literally the process of making something gold and seeing it transform before you into something extraordinary. To gild something is to consecrate it, to present it as worthy of reverence, as sculptures of deities have been gilded since antiquity. It also just looks super pretty.
